It's National Adoption Day

If you are looking for the usual light and breezy blog entry, check back later. This blog entry may be a little deep for you. I have more great post coming up later in the weekend. There will be one the Thanksgiving turkey sweat shop (A.K.A. my classroom) and another entry on how one pair of my new shoes has already been ruined. Both are guaranteed to please for the light and airy lovers!

For everyone else:


Today is National Adoption Day. Please take a moment to read this inspiring blog's post on Adoption Day. I do not personally know the author of this blog but she has served as an inspiration though out our adoption process. She's been there and her information is invaluable to me. I do not often blog about our adoption on this blog. It is not to say it's isn't important or in my thoughts. I more use this as a haven for the fun and light side of our lives. However, in honor of National Adoption Day and all of the adoptions that will be finalized today, I share our journey with you.

This journey is not one we initially started out on. But, as you will read on Joy's blog, our plan B was the original Plan A. Mr. D. wonderfully put it into perspective one day when he said that "our plan to have a family never changed, just the plan of arrival."

Like most couples I am sure, we dreamed of our family together long before we were even married. 8 years ago we through caution to the wind and waited to be expecting. We weren't trying to, but we weren't trying not to. Life around us continued to go on and years would pass with no change. Of course we weren't concerned at first because this is how it happened, you got married and had a baby. Why would our path be any different? Historically, we were both over achievers, so of course with would happen for us. In retrospect, we were both foolishly assumed that our lives were going to work out exactly that way wanted it to.

We had other things to occupy our time. We had careers to build, a house to pick our and purchase, friends to make, trips to take, a life together to enjoy. We bought a house with plenty of room of our growing family. We stored in the attic the baby furniture from a friend that would be perfect and save us money when it was time. The child who slept in that crib is almost 8 now. The crib remains in it's original resting place in our attic. We can't even remember exactly what it looks like.

We had other things to occupy our time. We dealt with the sickness and death of my Father. We had a new puppy... a sick puppy who we would call the million dollar dog before he was even a year old. Imagine the money we would have saved if Shane had been out of Veterinary School at that time in our lives. I quit a job that I had grown to hate and started a job that isn't really even a job at all. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done with my life, and they pay me.

Fast forward... Five years ago we entered the world of medical testing and insanity. We were referred by my OB/GYN to the Reproductive Endocrinologist. We referred to him as Dr. Ego because he was never shy about telling us what a reproductive God of sorts that he was. And he must have been because he had boards and boards filled with babies. He even had the boards sorted by single births, twins, triplets, quads and maybe even more. I don't know. Mr. D. would race past any board that had more than single births on it, so I really didn't get a good look. Dr. Ego was offering hope and we stood there with open pocket books waiting to buy some. We had testing which was invasive and humiliating. Diagnosis: no medical reasons as to why we aren't conceiving. This is important to know because still to this day some people "blame" me. I could make your head spin by some things that have been said with to me, to Mr. D. or about us. I could write a book, but I won't. Just know that no one is to blame, it is no ones fault, a classic case of unexplained infertility.

I spent 13 months with Dr. Ego. Here is how I would say most of the appointments went.

Me: taking off work and wait anywhere from 30-60 minutes passed my appointment time to be called back. Once in the room waiting even 20-45 minutes more.

Dr Ego enters. Chart in one hand, shaking my hand with the other. Then he was say things like "are you pregnant yet?" or "I see you aren't pregnant yet". Those seemed to be his go to phrases. Then he would look at the charts and say one of two things. He would either say to try the Clomid again at the same dosage, or he would increase the dosage. Then he would say a phrase that Mr. D. and I would recite in unison when we would discuss the appointments later. "I will see you in six weeks and try to be pregnant by then".

Then I would go to the window, and try to not think about how much I was about to pay for my 5 minutes with him. The only real variation would be if Mr. D. attended the appointment and then the time with the Dr. would be much longer because they would talk about sports and other boy stuff.

We stayed far longer with Dr. Ego than we should have. We didn't know better because after all, he had the bulletin boards filled with babies to prove he knew exactly what he was doing. Mr. D. made the decision to leave, I followed in step. Dr. Ego was quite charming and entertaining, but the truth was a year later we hadn't tried anything new. We realized we were getting no where and were treated more like a number than a patient.

We had a friend who knew about our situation and she was in somewhat of a similar situation. There were three difference though. 1) She got pregnant rather quickly once she started treatment and 2) She said she was treated like a queen and 3) She was PREGNANT. We jumped on that train and went to see what her doctor had to offer. I saw her doctor 1 time. She wasn't a reproductive endocrinologist but a OB/GYN with a specialty in fertility. I was then sent to her fertility practice where I never saw her again. My friend was right, they really treated me well there. The nurses did all of the work, and then I guess reported to her and she told them what to tell me and they would call me back. Don't worry, we still paid as if we had actually physically seen the Dr. I was a little disappointed when they first thing she suggested was a round of Clomid. I moved from Clomid to Clomid with Metformin to Clomid with Metformin with a low dose of an injectable called Follistim. She was treating me for PCOS, which I do not have but she wasn't sure what else to do. I only stayed there for 3 months because it became apparent that she didn't really do anything more than minimal treatments. I was then referred to a different Endocrinologist.

Once I got the referral I called my newest Dr. , I wasn't surprised that wait was a long one. That's just what we do, we wait. However, I didn't wait for long I asked to be put on the cancellation list and with in a week I was called with a cancellation. Sometimes when God closes a door he opens a window and my little window came to me in December, 2007. My co-teacher was on maternity leave and the substitute I was to spend the next few months with was an absolute Godsend. Not only was she fun to work with, but she had been THERE! She did all of this crazy stuff I had done! She was also a former patient of the practice I was going to. It was so nice to have someone to talk to who knew, not lots of people who knew someone when knew someone, but she actually experienced all of it.

The new practice was probably the equivalent to going from a coal mine to a palace. It was so nice, efficiently ran and had the NICEST staff I have ever encountered. Everything was so organized and state of the art. I saw the same nurses each time. My Doctor always saw me and we would meet with the both of us to discuss treatments before and after the treatment. Mr. D. and I both just loved him.

He had our records before our consultation and we could tell he had reviewed everything from the other Doctors. He was NOT happy at how long I had been on Clomid and some of the other things I had done. He went cycle by cycle telling us what he thought should or should not have been done. We was very hopeful and we decided moved on to more advanced treatment options. It is funny to say treatment when there is nothing to treat, but I can't think of another word increasing the odds. He would give us choices of which treatments we would take. At the end of each one, Mr. D. would ask- "Is this going to get us on 20/20?" If the answer was possibly, we would pass on that option.

We spent a lot of concentrated time really focused on getting pregnant at his office. It positively consumed us to the point of exhaustion. I started accupuncture which I loved. I actually miss going to accupuncture. In March of 2008 we were finished. Our final cycle was just too much on us physically, emotionally and most of all financially. The medicines I took that last time made feel horrible. I am sure I was unpleasant to be around and everything seemed to bother me. For those still reading who want the light and funny, here you go. My "A-ha" moment" came when one day I went to the staff computer at school and someone had downloaded a Garfield theme to the computer. Everywhere I tried to move the cursor, this little fish bones thing followed it around. I became so aggrivated and annoyed that I almost could not function. I swear I can not remember ever being so angry. I came home that day and said that would be the last cycle no matter what.

After that cycle failed, we decided to take a 2 months vacation from it all. After that time, we went to see the Dr at his office and we discussed many different option. We were told about the option of Embryo Adoption. His office had a waiting list and we were added to it. We had options. We had other things we could have done. We had agreed before hand that we would take the IVF option off of the table. Our main reason was that it was a lot of money for a chance when we could be spending that money towards a reality. In retrospect, the entire process had really just been about spending a lot of money for" a chance" several different times.

Basically you could sum up the science experiment on my body during that 2 years and 3 months as:

51 Doctors appointments
48 nurse appointments
130 pills of Clomid
20 ultrasounds
78 bloodtest
1 dye test
4 inseminations
24 injections
12 other prescriptions
18 acupuncture appointments
countless ovulation test and pregnancy test
countless dollars for parking
countless hours waiting in waiting rooms
and a whole bunch of money spent


We left that day and decided we would look more into adoption, either Embryo Adoption or by adopting a newborn domestically. In June of 2008, we started our new life of filling our what seemed like endless amounts of paperwork. In July of 2008, we told our parents of our plans. We hired an attorney who is well thought of in adoptive circles in our State. We were on a new adventure. We reconnected as a couple and enjoyed the time that not going to so many appointments freed up. I began to feel like myself again.

We went from wishing to maybe having a child to knowing that eventually we would be parents. We marked off the to do list and gathered the paper work together as fast as we could, but Adoption is NOT a fast process. We interviewed agencies. We looked on the internet for advice. We read books. We kept busy. We had our first in home visit with the social worker in September and our second visit in March. Our home study was officially approved and sent to the attorney in April of this year. By that point we had decided against a number of agencies and had made plans to meet with a consultant that Mr. D.'s Uncle had told us about. We flew to Florida in April and loved her from the get go. We hired her on the spot. Two days after returning from that trip we got a call that we were at the top of the Embryo Adoption list. At this point we already knew the path we were to be on, so we declined. We are very committed to adoption. We started placing our ads that month. We have continued to prepare. We are expectant parents. We no longer wait for the if, we wait for the when.

Since April we have been in around 90 publications advertising for our birth mother. We have had 17 calls that have range from absolutely crazy to amazing souls in need of help. Our eyes have been opened to so many things. One thing that never ceases to amaze us is that absolutely everyone has an opinion on Adoption. Some good, some bad, some quite shocking. Things have been said to us that would never be said if the child were growing in my tummy instead of our hearts. The adversity has only made us stronger as a couple and stronger as a family to be.


Through out the last 8 years we have grown as people in ways that we never knew possible. I could not imagine anyone I would rather be on this journey with that Mr. D. He is a rock and He never ceases to amaze me.

Through our the last 8 years we have had some really crappy time and some really amazing times. I like to believe that we laughed far more than we cried. When I look back on things and remember I really don't remember too many specific moments. It's more of a feeling of just remembering being with Mr. D. and the adventures we have had together.

Through out the last 8 years we have created an amazing support circle. There were days along the journey when there love and prayers were the only things that got us by. We have seen many babies be born. We have amazing friends and relatives who understand and let us love their children as if they were our own. And we do love them all. We have so many special children in our lives. They will be our child's friends one day. We have amazing people in our lives who call, email, send cards, or simply just check in on us. To all of these people we say Thank you. I can't wait for these same people to love our child the same way...... one day.


I wear this little pendant sometimes. It sums up the theme our lives have been following.


My sister-in-law Meredith chose a wonderful bible verse to have inscribed on the back. She has been always been very kind and supportive to us through out of our journey. It was only fitting that she had the perfect verse waiting to be inscribed.

1 Samuel 1:27.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him"

This has been our journey so far. We joyfully and patiently wait for the day when we become parents that we know we are meant to be.


Happy National Adoption Day!!!

OK- enough seriousness.............. back to the light and airy side of Sandy!